Ask Sharon: Pressure is ‘self-imposed’

This Ask Sharon (angel intuitive) column in The Area News on Friday 27 November 2015, answers a reader’s question about people expecting more of them by considering their burdens.

The Ask Sharon column as it appeared in The Area News on Friday 27 November, 2015.

Following is a copy of the full version of the column featured in The Area News complete with the “Burden” card from Colette Baron-Reid’s The Wisdom of Avalon Oracle Cards.

THIS week a question was submitted anonymously:

“I recently read your article on surrender. I know that’s what I need to do but I’m struggling with people expecting more and more from me. Some advice would really help.”

Today’s card “Burden” courtesy of Colette Baron-Reid is about contemplating the nature of the burdens we carry. The key message is that it’s “time to leave behind any unnecessary burdens and to know you have the strength to carry what’s yours.” But to get to that realisation we must first acknowledge what we consider our burdens to be.

The “burden” card from Colette Baron-Reid’s The Wisdom of Avalon Oracle deck, was drawn to answer a reader’s question about people expecting more of them by considering their burdens.

The “burden” card is copyright to Colette Baron-Reid, 2007.

There’s no shortage of potential burdens these days. People and events constantly require our attention. We deal with one and then before we can catch our breath, there’s another, and another.

Helping others, doing for others often comes second nature. Mothers are quick to partake in this behaviour. Admirable? Sure. Exhausting? Most definitely!

Many self-help books advise to lay down your burdens. Maybe it’s not a case of where you lay them down but to whom? Delegation springs to mind. What ”burdens” have you taken upon yourself that actually belong to someone else? It might be as minor as picking up after someone or as major as caring for an elderly parent.

In her bestseller, The Yo-Yo Diet Syndrome, Doreen Virtue makes connections between weight and behaviour (but that’s a whole other column!). For today, her sentiment about burdens is direct but also empowering. “All pressure and stress is self-imposed. We decide on our stress levels through our mental outlook, by saying yes when we want to say no, and by making decisions about our jobs, relationships, and other life areas out of guilt and fear – instead of out of love. Fortunately, if we don’t like the results of our past choices, we can choose again.”

Tips on how to not become a beast of burden:

  • Identify your major tasks and responsibilities. Writing them down will help to see the breadth of your burdens.
  • Review your list – are you doing more than your fair share? Are there things that aren’t really necessary?
  • Delegate or delete anything that’s crept onto your plate that isn’t yours or is no longer meaningful to you.

Think of this as an exercise in evaluating your whole life. I suspect it represents a bigger transformation than you might be aware of. A caterpillar might look at its cocoon as a restriction, the contents of the pupa might look like an oozy mess but as we all know after this radical transformation emerges a butterfly.

Send your questions for Sharon to

Today’s card has been drawn from The Wisdom of Avalon Oracle Cards. Image and card is copyright to Colette Baron-Reid, 2007.

Today’s quote by Doreen Virtue is from her book, The Yo-Yo Diet Syndrome, copyright 1997.

You might also be interested in…

My columns on the to-do list and responsibilities.

A little extra information…

For additional insight and meaning into today’s “Burden” card refer to the material below from the guidebook.

Burden: What burdens are you carrying on this part of the journey? Are you transporting those of others out of generosity or co-dependency? Is this burden so heavy that it slows you down? This marker asks you to stop and look at your responsibilities, your commitments, and all that you bring with you on your journey.

Are you clinging to an unhealthy relationship out of fear? Are you taking on the burden of others to prevent them from getting hurt? Do you know that this enables others to avoid learning their life lessons and doesn’t really help at all?

Drawing this marker encourages you to release others to their own path. It may also be a time for you to ask if you are helping because you like being needed. If the answer is yes, then the message is truly to let go of this burden, for it’s born of self-centredness. Release the burden of others to the Divine. They also have their own angels and guides, just as you do. Trust in the Divine plan for all.

On the sacred path to Avalon, you must be aware that you pack all the essential wisdom tools you will need to chart your course. Integrity, kindness, compassion, discernment, discretion, faith, forgiveness, truth, and love are but some of them.

Once your tools are counted, see if the rest of what you’re hanging onto is appropriate. This is the time to leave behind any unnecessary burdens, and to know you have the strength to carry what is yours.

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